texasmama

I had my dr’s appt today to get weighed and my blood pressure checked.  I have been going every 2 weeks since November 27th.  That appointment was a real wakeup call.  My weight was at an all time high, 181, and my blood pressure was scarily high.  This was suppose to be my yearly checkup. Now I had to go every 2 weeks until I could get things under control or I was going to need medication!  This was serious.  It was go time.

I started doing all the things I should have been doing all along.  I kept going back every 2 weeks and although the scale was finally moving in the right direction, my blood pressure was still high.  Not as high as the first time but still high enough that the Dr. wanted to keep checking it every 2 weeks.

 So, I went to the Dr. today—-drum roll please—-and my BLOOD PRESSURE WAS NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!!!!  I had lost another 3.5 lbs–keep in mind that is for 2 weeks but hey, I will take it!  Since that first appt last November 27, a little less than 2 months ago, I have lost 18 lbs!  I am FINALLY doing this.  It’s amazing how a scare can get you motivated.  However–it’s all of my buddies that have KEPT me going so I thank you so much for all of your support, inspiration, motivation, and understanding.  I am on my way to a healthier me and I KNOW I am going to do it because I have you guys with me along for the ride!!!!!! And who know, I may even get to wear that size 6 slinky black dress some day!

Whenever I explain to someone why I am trying to lose weight and exercise regularly, I always give them my standard answer.  “I am trying to get healthy and be a good role model for my children–I want to be around a long time”.  However, lets be honest, what I am really thinking these days is  “My 25th high school class reunion is this year and I want to be HOT and SKINNY!”.  As my weight loss starts to slow down, I increasingly become frustrated! Maybe I should just blow off the exercise and focus on diet pills, cabbage soup, and wash it all down with slimfast.  Just until after the reunion.  I find myself forgetting my original goals and only think of fitting into  a size 6 slinky black evening dresses and receiving complete admiration from people I haven’t seen in 25 years!!! I fully recognize that something is very wrong with this way of thinking but I can’t help it–it’s just there.  Then this morning, a really weird thing happened…I got an email.  Only contacts that I know are suppose to be able to get through to my inbox but one slipped through.  I decided to take a peek to see what it was.  My bets were an ad for viagra or penis enlargement (am I the only one that gets these? LOL). Anways, much to my surprise, it was a quote from some fitness email:

“Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness”       Edward Stanley 

 Jolt back to reality.  I need to get my original focus back and do this for the right reasons. Period.  I need to exercise because it makes me feel great.  I need to eat right because it makes me feel great.  If I happen to lose some weight in the process, that would be nice, but it should not be the focus.  It’s so easy to get obessesed with the numbers on the scale and we don’t even stop and take a minute to think about HOW WE FEEL.   I am going to take thie quote and print it out and hang it on the fridge…it will be replacing the picture of the HOT and SKINNY slinky size 6 black dress.  Last time I checked, my kids could have cared less about how I looked in some sexy dress…..they just want me around for a long time.  I am going to try and make that happen.

I was taking my four year old son to preschool this morning.  I decided on the way there that I was going to tell him how special he was because he is smart and very good at computers.  I decided to do this, because once again, our 8 year old daughter was on the front cover of the newspaper for winning another award.  Our 8 year old is clearly just like her father….an overachiever.  She excels in school, sports and has a winning personality. She is nothing like me!  My son is so sweet but laid back and clearly  not anything like his sister.  I often worry that he will grow up and have a complex!  I just wanted to make a point this morning that he was smart and very special too!  After I told him my thoughts about him, he sat there quietly.  Finally, he spoke, “Mommy, you are special too”.  I decided to ask why,even though I was pretty sure I knew what the answer would be.  “You make a good PB&J” or “You make my owies feel better” or something equally endearing.  However, the answer I got floored me.  “Mommy, you are special because you are a good exerciser”.  WOW.  He actually notices that I exercise????  As a former couch potato, one of the reasons I started exercising regularly 5 years ago was to be a healthy role model for my kids.  Frankly, I NEVER thought they ever paid attention.  Apparently, I was wrong.  So enough blogging for me today.  I am getting my running shoes on and getting outside to get some exercise, and James…this run’s for you!!!!!

The strangest thing happened this morning.  I woke up with a smile on my face, a song in my heart (okay, I may be exaggerating a tad :)) and an attitude of “I AM going to finish the 1/2 marathon on Sunday and love every minute of it”!!!!!!!!!  This was a stark contrast from my usual early morning panic attack and overwhelming thoughts of “What in the world is wrong with you??!!!!!!!!!  Have you forgotten you are chubby??? Maybe you should have started training sooner???? Helloooooo, do you even KNOW how many miles a 1/2 marathon is????”.  Then I subsequently start thinking of an escape plan…….hmmmm, how will anyone actually know if I am not there????  I think I remember seeing a Burger King on the route-I could probably just hang out there….eat a whopper w/ cheese or two, read Shape Magazine, talk to friends on my cell phone and act out of breath….WHO IS GOING TO KNOW??? 

Of course, when I woke up today feeling excited and optimistic about race day….I started thinking I may be delusional! :)  However, I have decided life is short and I am going to go have some fun. Yeah, I totally procrastinated, I should’ve lost more weight, should’ve been in better shape but it’s too late now! Race day is in 5 days, I’m signed up, got my new Nikes, IPOD loaded and I am as ready as I am going to be this year.  I am going to enjoy getting some fitness and be thankful that I have two legs (albeit chubby legs!) that I KNOW are going to make it 13+ miles!  I am not going to break any speed records (well, perhaps the slowest! do they have a record for that???) but I WILL cross the finish line and I won’t even care if I am the very last one–because I will know I did it!!!!!!!

I am certain that this change in attitude has something to do with all the support and inspiration I have received from all the wonderful people here at Buddy Slim.  I truly thank you!  I won’t let you guys down…..I won’t let myself down!!!!!!!  Houston Half Marathon, ready or not, HERE I COME!

1/4/08  Okay, I just signed up for this site and truly do not have a clue what I am doing!!!!  I am a 42 year old SAHM who is computer challenged so this should be interesting!!!!  I am seriously afraid of where this blog may actually end up.  Oh well–I have committed to getting this weight off in 08 and if I make a fool of myself–quite frankly it won’t be the first time!!!!!!!  I started this process back in November after a routine check to the dr. scared the daylights out of me regarding a high blood pressure reading and it does run in my family.  As of today, I have lost 12 lbs and still feel really committed to do this.  Let me be honest, I want to be healthy and have a normal blood pressure but I also want to go to my closet and and not have a mental meltdown when I can’t find a pair of pants that don’t fit!!!!!!!!

There are only 9 more days until the Houston Half Marathon (sigh).  What in the world could I possibly have been thinking when I signed up and TOLD everyone I was going to do it????????  Oh yeah, I thought it would actually motivate me to take this extra weight off and get in tip top shape.  Of course, I do what I usually do……….PROCRASTINATE!!!!!!!  I am going to do it.  I am certain that I will finish last, right behind the people on respirators and with walkers.  I have come to accept this and just hope they still have ONE tshirt( I hope it’s not a small!) left for me at the finish line.  Wish me luck.  I am going to need it!!!